She says "I'm unhappy, terrified every time he comes, afraid of what he'll shout next. I hate my husband. He is always yelling and sometimes hits us. I want to leave him but what will people think? It will hurt our kids! I'll have to deal with everything on my own."
#1 What will people think about you leaving your abusive husband?
Think about this sentence again. What people think is not a problem it is an aid. People will congratulate you if they know the ordeal that you've been living and what you are saving your kids from. People will hep you. You are in control of what people you allow to affect you. Stop excusing yourself with people, show them by your actions the result of your choice!
#2 He'll be angry.
YES! He will be upset that he no longer has full control over you. He'll be fuming and he can no longer hurt you and your kids in order to get out his anger and will have to face his issues. If you are afraid of what he could do, look for help. Ask the authorities to help you, tell your family, friends, co-workers, schoolmates, kids' teachers, they can be your body guards.
#3 How to feed and shelter my kids alone, with out his income?
The economy isn't in favor of anyone, much less in favor of a single mom. Sometimes there's family, friends and government agencies that can help. Get the word out there that you need help and get that support group working. Hopefully you are employed. If not, start getting ideas together for ways you can increase your income. Remember there will be one less of you and so expenses should be less. Talk to a legal advisor about possibilities of keeping some of the things and money. Also, think about going back to school and look into short courses that can higer your posiblities at getting hired.
#4 The kids.
There will come a day when they will thank you. If you are unhappy and hurting they are unhappy and hurting. Being abused is not good for anything! If you treat your car poorly one day it will stop working! It is the same with people. Your kids need you to protect them. Someone does not become a father just by fertilizing an egg. Talk to you kids all the way. This separation will become a journey and kids like to know what's happening and how close are they to the destination. Help them to undestand that this is for their wellbeing. Let you kids know how much you love them.
Break ups are not fun even for adolecents who seem to change partners as the seasons change. You are smart, beautiful and worth a millioton!!
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